THE THING ABOUT GHOSTING

We've all heard of it. Ghosting. The act of terminating all forms of communication with someone you've engaged in some sort of relationship with. It could've been a Tinder date gone wrong or perhaps a not-so-memorable one nighter. It could've been a relationship you were in for years, with someone you made a commitment to and had plans to build a future with. Here today, gone tomorrow is the name of the game. The ghostee is supposed to take 'no answer as the answer' after the texts and calls stop coming in from the ghost, eventually fading to black like it never happened. It's an easy way out for the ghost; a quick fix. Instead of simply telling the other person they're no longer interested or at the very least, giving them the whole "It's not you, it's me" bullshit excuse, the ghost sneaks outta the back door when no one's looking.

Maybe they didn't want to hurt any feelings. Maybe they didn't really have a reason to end things other than what their gut was telling them and they couldn't exactly articulate their feelings. Maybe they heard false rumors from an implausible source and they weren't thinking rationally through their hurt and anger. But it's not an act of mercy, that is certain. It's truly a selfish one, clearly showing that the ghost is only thinking about themselves. Ghosting isn't specific to one gender or another, but it's surely executed by people who don't have any balls. But who cares? It was just a date or two. Or years, who knows. But here's the thing....

Ghosting sucks. On the simple side of things, it's rude. Not having the common courtesy to even send a quick 'Bye.' is shitty. But shitty things come and go, so no big deal, right? What about the bigger deal side of things? What about the psychological damage it can cause? What about deep-rooted abandonment issues the ghostee might have lingering somewhere inside of them? Because that's what ghosting really affects- the soul. It's leaving someone in the dark, not giving a shit if they were scared of the dark in the first place. It can make the most secure and trusting person question everything they've ever known. Who knows if the ghostee already battled trust issues that took years and years of hard work to overcome. Who knows if they already struggled with self-worth issues, never really thinking they were good enough for this world. The questions set in; 'What did I do wrong?' 'How could I have not seen this coming?' 'Why am I not even worth the words it takes to leave me?' 'Is everything we shared that easy to walk away from?' 'Why am I that fucking easy to just walk away from?' And the worst of it isn't the sting it causes as it smacks you in the face once reality sets in. It's not even the thought of being haunted by all the memories or all the questions that will never be answered. Oh, no. The worst part of it is it's outstanding potential to thoroughly destroy the ghostee's ability to trust again. The worst part of it comes when a good person walks into their life and doesn't stand a chance dismantling that freshly built wall. The worst of it comes every single time they push people away instead of giving someone a chance to actually love them. The worst of it comes when they want to move on and actually love again, but instead just remind themselves not to get used to anyone that can leave them at any moment. That's the thing about ghosting.

So kids, the moral of the story is this: Don't fuckin' ghost people! Human interaction is watered down more than ever before. I get it. Facebook, Snapchat, online dating, Facetiming...Social platforms are convenient and entertaining and they're easy. They're so easy, they've allowed us to forget how human we really are. But we are still human and most of all still have feelings. Are you obligated to go into great detail on why you don't want a second date with that Tinder match? No, you're not. Are you under any obligation to explain to someone why you're no longer interested in them? Not really. But just because you don't owe it to anybody doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do. If you no longer fancy someone you once did, then fine. You're most certainly allowed to your own feelings and you should own them 100%. But do us all a favor and don't leave them hanging. Send it in a text or use a meme if you must. But just man up. Because the

long-term damage it's capable of is much bigger than you and karma can be merciless. Who knows. Maybe you'll meet the person of your dreams one day and your big plans will come to an abrupt stop with an indestructible wall that built from heartbreak.

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