PROS
1. She's independent. She's used to bringing home her own bacon, paying her own bills, taking care of the kids and maintaining a household on her own. And since she doesn't really need you for anything, she probably just genuinely likes you for you.
2. She knows what she wants. She's used to making executive decisions and has valuable input on things. She doesn't have time to be indecisive, so deciding where to go out to dinner is usually quick and painless.
3. She's relatively low maintenance. She doesn't have the time or money to be anything else. She's used to getting herself ready and out the door in a short amount of time and she doesn't have frivolous money that keeps her in nail salons, hair salons and shopping malls on a regular basis.
4. Because of #3, you don't have to worry about constantly keeping her entertained. She doesn't mind low key nights in because she doesn't really know what it's like to sit on her own couch anyway. Simple things like going to Target without the kids can feel like a vacation to her. And sometimes all she needs is good conversation with another adult to be happy as a clam.
5. She truly appreciates all that you do. She's used to doing everything by herself, so simple things like grabbing the garbage on your way out is a tremendous help to her. She's grateful for the little things, as they aren't so little at all.
6. She gets shit done. Whatever it is, she's on it. She's a master at multi-tasking, punctuality, deadlines, chores, errands, all of it. Laziness isn't an option and if you need a fire lit under your ass, she can be that, too.
7. She cooks on a regular basis. And we're not talking mac & cheese here. I mean balanced, home cooked, nutritional ass meals.
8. She doesn't get grossed out easily. She's seen it, heard it and smelled it all. She's tasted rancid milk, washed vomit out of her hair, scraped poop from underneath her fingernails, has been handed boogers to hold and has examined every rash, wound, bump, lump and oozing thing you can think of. She's used her own shirt as a snot rag, slept in puddles of someone else's piss and can go days without a single shower. So whatever manly grossness you might have about you, she will be unperturbed by any of it.
9. She's not a level 5 clinger. In fact, you won't have to worry about her smothering you whatsoever. Her children occupy the majority of her time, so she's not going to concern herself with where you are or what you're doing every minute of the day. She doesn't even have time to wash her hair and shave in the same shower most days, so blowing up your phone and seeking constant attention from you isn't even a thing in her world.
10. She's not a cheater. For starters, she barely has time to be in a relationship with you. So juggling more than one partner is exhausting just to think about it. Not only that, but she has key witnesses living under her roof. 1. She can't set a bad example for the children by being a cheating hussy. And 2. Kids spill the beans. Like, constantly. They don't even mean to do it. The last thing she wants to risk is her kids calling you by the other dude's name the next time they see you. Awkward for everyone.
CONS
1. She really doesn't need you. If that intimidates you or you prefer your women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, a single mom may not be your best option. You're going to have to be okay knowing that she will survive just fine without you.
2. She doesn't have time for games. She has little people counting on her for stability and happiness and livelihood. So her patience for bullshit is extremely low and she's pretty good at smelling it a mile away. If you're not serious about the relationship, fickle about what you want in life or don't have your shit together, then you're not the one for her.
3. There is a very good chance that her body was affected by growing and birthing another human being. There's a very good chance that she will have saggy boobs, stretch marks and/or a less than perfect body. There is a very good chance that any and/or all of those things will cause her to be a little more self conscious than the average woman. If a smokin' hot pornstar body is what you're after, there's a very good chance you won't find it on a single mom.
4. She's not going to be readily available to travel the world with you at the drop of a hat. In fact, she might not even be able to go out on dates with you on a regular basis. Sure, she can make arrangements here and there, but it's tricky and sometimes damn near impossible, so don't expect her spontaneity to match yours.
5. She can be a bit stubborn. She's used to doing everything herself. She likes her independence. So even if you're more than willing to help her out with things here and there, don't be surprised if she's reluctant at first. It's not that she doesn't want your help, she's simply not used to it.
6. She is a mother first and your girlfriend second. She will make sure her kids eat first, she will be sure her kids are happy first and she will serve and protect them first. You will end up getting the short end of the stick from time to time. Sorry, but that's just how it goes.
7. Because of #4 and #6, you are going to have to share her. She's not going to leave her kids with someone else just to spend time with you whenever you feel like it. That means you're either going to have to be okay with seeing her less or you're going to have to be around the kids as well. And if you do get to hang out with the whole squad, be prepared for a bunch of little cock blockers running around. They get prime location in her bed in the middle of the night, they get to snuggle up closer during movie night and she only has two hands to hold while walking around public places. You're going to have to share time, space and patience with the little ones. If you have a hard time sharing, please swipe left.
8. Kids can be exhausting. They can drain the life right out of you. Even if you aren't actively running around with them or countlessly throwing them up as high as you can, they can still take a toll on you anyhow. Kids can also be loud, messy, dirty, annoying, needy, expensive, dramatic and emotional. You might want to think about all of those things before dating a single mom.
9. She doesn't have a surplus of time to offer you. She has her hands full getting shit done. She will never be caught up on chores or laundry or projects. She will never ever be bored. And in those rare moments where she does get a little bit of down time, she just may want to have a few moments to herself to decompress. Whether she wants to or not, she won't always have time to send you cute little memes, respond to your texts/calls right away or see you as much as you might like. If you need a level 5 clinger to feel loved, you're going to have to search elsewhere.
10. You are going to have to walk the line. She's not going to let bad role models be in her children's lives. Respect, kindness and patience are requirements; not bonuses. If you can't show her and her children what a real man is, then don't waste her time.